What’s Hollywood got against Todd?
Forget the war against Christmas and other left-wing media conspiracies like faking the moon landing and covering up an alien invasion. Hollywood’s biggest war is the war against Todd. Don’t believe me? Check out the overwhelming evidence.
It’s tough to be a Todd. For decades now “Todd” has been the go to name for characters who are jerks, tools, bad boyfriends, and the guy we love to see flailing in a truckload of steaming manure at the end of the movie. Sure, Brad, Tad and Chad have been popular monikers for a-hats and d-bags too, but has any name been more unapologetically maligned by what Todd Palin’s charming wife calls the “lamestream media” than Todd?
Here’s just a short list of recent film and TV Todds to consider (and if I’m missing any, please include them below). First, some Todds who didn’t make the list:
—Todd from the movie JOY, the pompous infomercial actor who ruins Joy’s big break. This is one of the most recent Todds in film, showing that the war against Todd still continues.
—Todd Stetson, from Liv and Maddie (my daughter’s favorite show). This is the Todd who climbs to the top of Mt. Jerkdom by giving every girl a cruel number ranking.
—Todd from Goth Talk (one of the early annoying Todds).
—Todd Palin. You’re not helping the Todd case, man.
—LL Cool J. His middle name was Todd, but he changed it. Couldn’t handle the pressure of being a Todd. Come one, LL, Todds need love.
Top 10 Bad Todds:
10) Sweeny Todd. (Granted, Todd is the last name here, but who can forget the Demon barber of Fleet Street?)
9) Todd Bridges. What you talking about Willis? (okay –this one isn’t a character. But it doesn’t help that the most famous Hollywood Todd most people know.)
8) Todd Chester (from Christmas Vacation)
7) Todd Lanuzi (Beevis and Butthead)
6) Todd from Breaking Bad (who some claim was the most dangerous villain on the show).
5) Todd from Zoolander (also a dangerous villain).
4) Todd from Wedding Crashers.
3) Todd Flanders.
2) “The Todd” from Scrubs (so obnoxious, in a bizarre way he almost goes around the bend and makes Todd good).
1) Todd from Supernatural. Kneel before Todd! Reference to a classic villain from another planet? Check! Wry meta-criticism of the unjust treatment of Todds everywhere? Check! Creepy kid with too much power? Check! After years of bad Hollywood Todds, here at last is a pro-Todd message of angry empowerment.
Come on Hollywood, it doesn’t have to be this way. Once there were positive name-role-models for Todd (well, only one I can think of, and he wasn’t human).
Still, the next time you need a name for a jerk, villain, d-bag or other annoying putz, don’t just reach for “Todd.” Spread the love around.
I’m starting a society for the positive advancement of the name Todd. Who’s with me?
So who am I missing? What’s your favorite bad Todd or good Todd? Feel free to add them in the comments below.